Unaddressed love letters

Ikue Asazaki – Obokuri-Eeumi

Hello. Prolonged exposure to this site is likely to make you extremely emotionally uncomfortable, possibly leading to various forms of severe psychologic instability. You should leave here.

For I, ladies and gentlemen, am of the fabled genii. This site, originally designed for the perusal of potential mates, is my soul, recorded and exposed to the world. As time has progressed, so has the site’s purpose. It’s additionally become a self-therapy device, wherein I somewhat-miserably attempt to validate my perspectives and existence. Also a message in a bottle, thrown to the future, wherein others like myself may find solace in the knowledge they aren’t alone. Lastly: an imaginary friend.

For, my intelligence, coupled with a demanding life, has granted understanding; and as I’ve come to learn: seeing beyond what people wish to acknowledge, leads to ostracization. Admittedly, my casual behaviors often violate many social norms, inviting that vilification. But understand: I find the majority of those norms primitive at best – inappropriate.

I’ve had to spend a great deal of time and energy making sense of normal people, with their instinct-driven versions of thought. The sense I’ve made of them is severely unpleasant. Many view my criticisms of normality as unproductive, but I find that solving problems requires admission – especially in unpleasant conditions.

I imagine there are good people in the world – strong people, whom comprehend the importance of emotional maturity, morality, intelligence, and solidarity. But I haven’t personally met them. Instead, I’ve consistently met the other kind – in varying perversions of humanity. The only substantial exception being my Grandmother, who’s parenting likely kept me from mimicking the masses.

Instead of such mimicry, and due to my heretic audacity in valuing truth over emotionality, I am often hated. To counterbalance this, I have to lie in every single interaction: I have pretend to be stupid, pretend the masses’ provably destructive behaviors are appropriate – merely so I can be left alone, through keeping their formulaic savagery subdued.

Despite this issue, I don’t care if the world changes; all I want is a mate, and to not be bothered by catering to the masses. It would be nice if the world changed, if people were strong and good, and world-peace for all! But I know, this nor anything like it, will exist in my lifetime. And I now fear, most of all, being alone amidst the savages, alone to endure their shrieking madness for the rest of my life.

So here I am. Perhaps, some day before I die, this little Bower nest will earn me love. Or perhaps I’ll merely prove, to every idiot and lunatic who’ve unjustly diminished my life, their ineptitude. And maybe, the site will find another like me, and give them the peace of belonging, and the guidance, denied me.

Or maybe I’m just a megalomaniac.

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