Classic Biscuits

Witcher 2 – A Watering Hole in the Harbor

Classic biscuits. I suppose, like the cake recipe, this is not something you should try as a beginner. But then, I was a beginner when I started, and I mastered them. These biscuits make me think of.. good things. They’re amazing.

I had to develop new methods to meet my boss’ standards – he was trying to make excuses for firing me, so he could hire a friend. It was pretty funny when I ended up meeting his fake standards, and then surpassing his abilities. He hated me, while I consistently made him look better. Gotta love life.

You should quarter this recipe, or at last half it – it produces something like.. 24 biscuits, which are themselves large. I think 24. The time and temperature are approximate, given standard variables, and myself using a compact convection oven for making them.

These are transcendental biscuits. If that’s not the product you get – you did it wrong; try again. They make for great sandwiches, amazing to drench in sauce, eating straight will never do you wrong, jellys, and such. Not a harder biscuit meant for soaking though: they’ll evaporate.

 

Heat oven to 400 Fahrenheit.

 

6 3/4th C flour

Place in a massive mixing bowl.

 

1 T Salt
3 T Baking powder

Mix together, then mix into flour.

 

6 OZ Chilled shortening
12 OZ Chilled butter
[Optional] 11 Oz shredded cheese

Biscuits have a reputation for being real bastards, you’re about to find out exactly why. Lucky you – I know an amazing trick: don’t “cut” the chilled butter and shortening, like most people do; use a cheese grater’s medium-hole side, and just grate it like cheese.

Here’s how this works: you’ve got your massive bowl filled with the dry ingredients. You grate a thin layer of butter ontop of the flour, toss till butter is coated – repeat until all butter is mixed in. Same with shortening. Then just mix in the cheese.

Also: These are the ratios you mess with to adjust the recipe. Don’t mess with the dry, just mess with these. Depending on your elevation, types of butter, cheese, and shortening, you’ll need different ratios anyway. When I add cheese, I put in less shortening – sometimes omitting it completely.

 

2-2.5 C Buttermilk

Add buttermilk to dry ingredients. The variance is just something for you to figure out, due to variables beyond my control. Start with 2, move up if it looks too dry. You have to fold this buttermilk in carefully. If you mix this too much, the quality diminishes. Fold, carefully. Just enough that it’s thoroughly combined. I usually put in half of the milk at a time.

Once your batter is mixed, lay out a large piece of plastic wrap. Place the batter atop the plastic, and form into block, about 2-2 1/2 inches tall. Once formed, wrap the entire block in plastic wrap, and place in refrigerator. Allow to cool for 2 hours. They will go bad if left in refrigerator over night, though I never tested freezing the batter.

Once chilled, remove plastic wrap, and place batter atop floured surface. Use a standard, round biscuit cutter, to cut out biscuits. Be sure to flour biscuit cutter, and top of block, before each cut. Be careful not to mash the dough, but instead cut through it – a twisting motion helps.

Leftover batter can be combined, reformed. But, for quality biscuits, it can only happen onces. Anything beyond that makes them form oddly, thought still edible.

Place wax paper, parchment paper, or silicone pad, atop baking sheet. Then place biscuits, approximately 2 inches apart – they will double in size. Cook for 12 minutes, rotate pan 180 degrees, then cook approximately another 12 minutes.

Test a biscuit, if they aren’t done, put them in a little longer.

 

We sold these biscuits, alone, for about 3.75. They were more than worth it, and I’m extremely cheap.

 


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~ by Louis Naughtic on July 28, 2016.

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