Devotion and Reciprocity

Die Antwoord – Ugly Boy

Devotion and reciprocity, love, is sharing minds and hardship – not just company, bodies, or a home. Unfortunately, I’ve found that given the extent of my capacity, few match my contributions; whether because my companions are less robust, astute, mature, or emotionally available, I often find myself contributing far more than I receive. I have difficulty accepting that situation.

Tranny seemed to interpret my contributions as methods to instill guilt, so I could leverage control of the relationship. Not my intention at all; I genuinely enjoy nurturing others. This has simply been an instinct of mine, despite and perhaps because of, the mistreatment throughout my life. While some may not understand my motives, the benefits are clear.

Aiding others through their lives, can lead them to aiding me. If we make each other happier and stronger, there is mutual gain. Further, the happier and stronger we consistently make each other, the more capable we are of perpetuating that cycle. Some of my happiest memories resulted from this behavior.

Unfortunately, this simple degree of reciprocity is difficult for most, as it requires a great deal of maturity. The first requirement is the ability to perceive and acknowledge our own faults. Then, we must have the social skills to share those faults, and the associated needs they cause, without being defensive.

We must also understand others enough to know whom will return our efforts equally – and can be trusted. Thankfully, my life’s challenges have prepared me accordingly; I’m very comfortable in acknowledging my faults, and sharing them with others – even if I have a difficult time overcoming them.

For example: having a long run of bad luck, I’m depressed, currently not working, reassessing my life, and refueling my will to push on; I’m also smoking allot of cigarettes, and gaining a little weight ontop of my regular excess.

To me, being intimately open isn’t terrifying; infact, it’s enjoyable and exciting. I love to share my problems with others, as I’m interested in exploring human nature, and hope we can develop that lovely reciprocity cycle.

So, the overarching point is that I will, as outlined in the “Unrequited Love” post, commit a great deal to my relationship. I hope the further posts in this section of the blog explain that it’s worth you doing the same, and that engulfing my dick through every means, at every available opportunity, is ideal.


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~ by Louis Naughtic on July 28, 2016.

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