Unrequited Love

Gil Scott Heron – I’ll Take Care of You

Unrequited love, a tragedy. Incase someone finds my demands of reciprocity unreasonable, the following examples from my life are provided; these examples are from my relationship with Ex. While they may appear to be my complaining, I merely intend to display the degree of my contributions, even when in a bad relationship. That relationship lasted.. around 2 1/2 years. We decided it was over before then, but we stayed together out of convenience.

I did what’s expected in a healthy relationship. Knowing all her needs and likes, I always sought to find ways of making her happy and improving her life. Frivolous gifts unmentioned, a majority of her practical possessions, which eased her daily life, came from me. I also directly aided and refined her daily activities, so she that was more successful, and had more freetime. Few were the gifts she gave, less were those I actually enjoyed, and she rarely even attempted to contribute to my activities.

I once found an old, beat-to-shit, custom-built table in a house I was working on; I sanded and chiseled the years of bad paint, grime, oil, and wear, then sealed it – took a day, as I didn’t have a sander and knew nothing of sealing. Damn thing was beautiful, as the tabletop had a very unique construction. I did this merely because she needed a table for her studies. And because she was currently using my good table.

Whenever I cooked, I asked if she wanted anything, and if she did, I cooked for her, exactly as she liked it – often, she didn’t even ask me. When she was tired, I did the chores – I rarely ignored mine, despite working punishing jobs. Whenever she wanted sex, she got it – and I destroyed those holes. But getting sex out of her, when she wasn’t in the mood, often required a laughable negotiation process.

I did the majority of the hauling and packing through our numerous moves, despite her having far more belongings than myself, and her belongings often being unnecessary and unused. When she needed something fixed, it was my top priority; she did not return the effort.

When she didn’t want to keep each other company, which was often, I did my own thing, and swallowed the pain when she instead spent time with people she barely knew. I occasionally joined her for gatherings with her friends, being a charming trophy, despite often finding her friends uninteresting.

Finally, I constantly and extensively supported her mentally and emotionally, despite myself needing little of it. Her cyclical [and regular] irrationality and manipulations, were intensive for most, though manageable for me. After every, very lengthy event, she would apologize, agree she was wrong, promise to improve. She did, but very little. All told, she returned little of my efforts.

At the start of the relationship, I feared this type of disparity might occur, and chose to accept the risk. Being overly hopeful has always been a fault of mine. So, if I can do all that for an often crazy and selfish person, imagine what I’d do for a real mate.

To be fair to her, I had allot of great times with her, and have very many fond memories of our time together. Really, I don’t mean this to be nothing but complaining; some of the best memories of my life are with her.


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~ by Louis Naughtic on July 28, 2016.

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