Dungeons and Dragons Online

Steam Powered Giraffe – Honeybee.

When I played Dungeons and Dragons Online, it was the single best gaming experience I’ve had in terms of teamplay and strategy. This, because DDO has a very unique structure: almost exclusively revolving around heavily scripted dungeons, DDO consistently presents the player with strategically demanding, teamwork-centric, situations.

Never, in my decades of gaming, have I been more satisfied with the results of my planning. Usually, I overplan to hell, wasting energy. Or a game is so poorly balanced that no amount of planning will accomplish anything. DDO, however, had a tendency to put my back against the wall fairly, fromwhich careful and decisive planning, and situational awareness, reaped the ultimate reward for a strategist: a narrow victory against overwhelming odds.

Once, in the middle of a room filled with uniformly spaced pillars that made seeing the entire room impossible, a massive spawn descended on us. The Ex and her friend panic, yelling over each other to figure out what to do. I politely got them to shut the fuck up and get behind me.

Entering a room, my first thought is what to do if shit goes tits up. So, while they were in the middle of a shitstorm, I was near our entry-point [a narrow doorway] with my shield handy. The shields in this game actually function as they should, rather than only a flat stat bonus: you can raise them for tremendous bonuses. So, I got them behind me, threw up my shield in the narrow doorway, and held back a flood as they threw death over my head. We survived. I fucked her hard later. Real hard.

Another extremely interesting component of DDO is it’s dramatically unique mechanics. The items and spells do all kinds of crazy, nongame-breaking, shit. Coming from standard MMOs, you simply wouldn’t believe it. Oil slick, for example, is a level 1 spell that cause a functional aoe stun, and makes walking uphill difficult – as well as being flammable.

The spell system is also split into 3 categories, which require different stats to defend against. Therefore, a rogue has a greater resist against one group of spells, a warrior another, a mage the last. Building around that is fascinating. Oh right, and traps. You’re likely dead if you walk into a trap [spikes, blades, bursts of magic, etc] on highest difficulty. There are allot of traps.

Son of a bitch I loved that game. Played with the Ex. Fucked some dragons, then fucked all her holes. What more does a man want? Em. However, I need to state that, my experience, may now  be unattainable for others. For two reasons.

First reason. When I played, I played under a subscription – this allowed me to play each dungeon on maximum difficulty, the first time I played them. Once you play them, you know what to expect, and it becomes far easier. And the normal difficulty, attainable without subscription, is too easy.

Second reason. She could really, really take a dick. Even double dipped. And the bitch ate ass. OOOOhhhh sex with that crazy bitch was good.

Oh yeah, its made by the same mother fuckers that made Asheron’s Call. I had no idea about this until after I started playing. God. God damn. Pussy and strategy. God damn.


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~ by Louis Naughtic on July 30, 2016.

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