Journal Entry 9-20-16

Linda Ronstat – Blue Bayou.

Nearly 4 months of sitting on my ass, gaming, chain smoking, cooking elaborate meals, and crying like a bitch, has led me to gain weight. That, a dearth of new books, and a surplus of old books cluttering my small room, led me to take a 4 mile walk to the bookstore.

It so happens that, along the path to the bookstore, was the lovely apartment inwhich the Ex and I lived for a year and a half – of our total 2 ½ together. That path was also the one I took to a job, that I loved and planned to work my way up in. I don’t think I’ve ever had a job even approaching the quality of that one.

I was never in love with the Ex, which I always made known as delicately as possible when asked – while still clearly and openly discussing the subject. I did, however, love her as family. Those years with her were good years. The time we spent together was mutually beneficial, even if it had to end – she was selfish and crazy half the time.

Nevertheless, I was much happier than I am now. Both due to her presence, and my ignorance of how isolated my positive traits make me. And the aforementioned job was heaven. I was fired by insidious people; both to cover themselves in a legal matter nearly unrelated to me, and because my solidaritous behavior, held next to their selfishness, caused them to be looked down upon by others in the workplace.

I was reminded that I was happy once. Fuck. Oh well. I’m back to quitting smoking and dangerous degrees of metacognition, soas to overcome the blues. Sigh. Immediately after typing that, my music player randomed to this post’s attached song. I have 1000 songs in there.

Anyway. I intended to stock up on Aristotle, as I gave my Ethics to my sister, and my Politics got beat to shit due to my ungentle treatment of books. But the bookstore wasn’t interested in the majority of my books, and therefore my store-credit was minor. Therefore, I instead picked up 5 of the first 6 Horus Heresy titles, and a few other Warhammer 40k novels.


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~ by Louis Naughtic on September 20, 2016.

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