Journal Entry 1-2-17

Chrono Trigger – Ruined World.

It’s funny: in America, there is often outcry of entertainment being excessive in some manner – be it about violence, sex, swearing, or simply the display of unpopular activities and ideas. Yet, despite a majority of my life spent enjoying every form of entertainment art, I haven’t become a raping, thieving, murdering, backstabbing, lying, money-hoarding, womanizing, animal-torturing, delusional, druggie, cultist; instead, all that art led me to believe in humanity’s decency.

Though, in a way, that view still caused me allot of problems: I was unprepared for the reality of how savage humanity is. All that art, primarily, showed me the positive side of humanity – the ideals which are far, far from the common reality. Early in life, my mother taught me that people can indeed be very savage, but she only showed me the extreme; this, in combination with art displaying the ideals of human nature, seem to have aided in my being blind to the middle-ground.

Between destructive and philanthropic, are average people, and they’re mostly drains on society. Though don’t mistake me for being misanthropic; I simply view average people like poorly raised children, whom aren’t truly responsible for their actions: we’re all born helpless into the crazy world, and most people simply don’t become strong enough to improve the world around them.

Instead, they are conduits to their surroundings. In a good and sane world, which educated them properly, these people would likely be beneficial to society. But its not a good world. Its hard enough to become strong people, it’s far harder when the world around us is mad. In my growth, I made my own mistakes which were drains on society, so I sympathize.

So, I don’t really feel angry toward humanity. But I still have to deal with their bullshit on a daily basis. It’s disheartening to constantly watch their destructive behaviors, and be unable to influence the situation despite understanding it formulaically. In repeatedly trying to do so, I’ve found that most people can’t be reasoned with: most people rarely learn through reasoning, or change through self-control, but are mere reflections of their surroundings, and slaves to their unexamined instincts. Sadly, they often need change beaten into them – severely.

I am so fucking lonely, and sick of dealing with problem after problem. After everything else, I did not expect this most recent issue. But, for anyone keeping up with the story: I’m doing better; don’t feel like elaborating on that right now, just wanted to post my current thoughts so I can pretend someone’s listening. Fuck my life.

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~ by Louis Naughtic on January 2, 2017.

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