Pussies. [Journal 4-5-17]

Seal – Kiss From A Rose.

So, emotionally and mentally feeling allot better, but the kidneys are seemingly worse than before. I’m functional, but they seem to be improving at a much slower rate, and the pain seems more persistent. Meditating is helping, as usual, but less-so. I haven’t smoked more than a couple cigarettes a day, and intent to keep it below 4 in the future, until I figure this out. I’ll also be cutting back on salt, soda, and whatever else sounds damaging.

But, them aside, metacog’s doing it’s job with addressing my mental and physical drag. While my perspective on life hasn’t changed, I’m simply dealing. Expect the worst, hope for the best, and such. I’m not happy, I’m not driven, but I’m willing myself to be.. tolerant, relatively cheery, and active.

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I’ve been at the shelter pretty consistently, and intend to get back to the garden immediately. My garden seeds, currently in little seedling flats, are sprouting at a surprisingly high rate. That’s great, though I seem to have wasted a large number of seeds in germinating extra incase some didn’t take. The first plot is nearly done, afterwhich I intend to move onto the second and work outward from there. Haven’t put up any fencing yet though.

The shelter’s been oddly busy, with large numbers of volunteers coming in. As with my other volunteering, and jobs for that matter, I’ve defaulted into a supervisor position. Though most of the volunteers are young girls, there are some women around my age that I hope have romantic potential – probably won’t be any real contenders, but its usually fun to flirt.

Suppose I’ll address that, as I don’t think I have specifically yet. Women like me, and I hate them. That’s a joke. Allot of people would consider me misogynistic when hearing my opinions related to women. Yet, oddly, women who interact with me over a long period of time invariably compete for my attention. Even females whom are blatantly misandristic eventually calm the fuck down and carry extra panties.

This doesn’t happen because I show off; I’m simply competent, fair, and amiable. Rather than instinctively seeing me as a threat, as far more males do, females far more often appreciate me. Part of males being more problematic is their prevalent need to assert some form of dominance, which results in my immediately shutting them down, which further results in them reacting like the little cunts they are.

Women usually don’t harass me, and almost never attempt to be physically imposing, so I have no reason to rend their delusions of possessing sanity, intelligence, or maturity. Therefore, our interactions never progress to the point where I’ve psychologically beaten them into submission, which generates lasting ill-will – unlike with males.

So, generally, I prefer working with females. There doesn’t have to be the constant, childish attempts at challenging me, due to their discomfort with my inherent capacity. Females respond with appreciation and attraction instead; even misandrists usually figure out they’re being worthless cunts and shut their stupid mouths.

Though, in a mix of males and females, females can often be a horrendous burden, as many will manipulate males into doing their work for them. When they try it on me, I give them more work, or stop helping them as much as I would any other teammate, while internally cackling.

My behaving thusly, in combination with my positive traits, generates serious romantic attraction. Once females figure out that I’m genuinely not manipulating them in attempts to fuck them, that I’m simply getting along with them and helping them because I just do that for everyone, they want the susej. Especially the sexually manipulative ones, whom are attracted to the only thing their simplistic minds understand – my potent social influence. Here’s where the hate comes in.

I have a powerful sex drive, and a more powerful imagination. In combination, they push me to imagine banging nearly every female I see. Let me specify: If I’ve seen so much as a picture of you, my subconscious has forced numerous images of our sexual interaction into my conscious mind, without my willing it to occur. Remember: This does not make you remotely special; this occurs for nearly all women, and even some effeminate males.

If all the women I knew allowed it, I’d probably die of dehydration from producing all that sperm. But, just because I have an impulse to bang anything with a pulse, doesn’t mean it overcomes my intolerance of bullshit. Most people are immature, crazy, or stupid. So, average females flirting with me is just a horrendous tease. I want to split them in half, but its simply not worth the headache of babysitting these random idiots in my personal life.

Despite the sexual frustration, it’s pretty funny to watch females in these circumstances: them throwing themselves at a male, and getting nothing in return – and my only rewarding them when they behave maturely, rather than whorishly. They’re so used to the opposite situation that my behavior alters their paradigms. That’s fucking hilarious to me.

It’s a pretty funny situation though, if you think about it: the exact thing which draws these idiot females to me is what keeps me away from them. Its funny how people desire strength, presuming it grants social rewards. I mean, sure, it does – in a sane society. Fucking idiots. Mountains of fucking idiots.


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~ by Louis Naughtic on April 5, 2017.

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