Damn You, Maturity. [Journal 4-21-17]

Ryan Lesie – Diamond Girl.

The girl, whom I mentioned earlier, and I, have been interacting regularly. Though our time has been limited, we’ve worked together and gotten along consistently. During those times, I’ve rambled about my perspectives and history, and she was receptive, though less engaging than I prefer. Recently, she gave me a ride home, stopping at the grocery store along the way, before visiting with me at home. We talked, while both feeling each other out.

From what little I know about her, there seems to be high chance of incompatibility between us. She’s in her earlier twenties, and seemingly sheltered atop that, so we’re likely to be incompatible in terms of maturity. As for her intelligence level, she seems to lack the degrees of intellect I prefer – though she is thoughtful. All this, of course, hasn’t stopped my hopeless romanticism from attempting to contrive a workable relationship.

This is not merely due to my healthy sexy drive, or my dominating need for affection and companionship: we’ve gotten along quite well, and have decent conversation; most importantly, we work well together. The last is hugely important to me, as I’m very much the “attached-at-the-hip” type, doing everything with my partner. But, again, our interactions have yet to reach the level of complexity I prefer, possibly due to her lacking maturity and intelligence.

Which brings us to the meat of this post. Though she’s appears interested, though I desperately want to date her, I imagine it best not to. I say this for a simple reason: I fear that, were we to get involved, I would psychologically impact her in a negative way. I don’t mean to say that I would fuck with her in the slightest.

Its merely that my perspectives, and being who I am, both consistently have large impacts on people. But whether that impact is positive or negative depends more on them than me – unless I handle them with extreme delicacy, which isn’t a healthy relationship. If a person doesn’t possess minimum requirements of maturity, sanity, and intelligence, my casual behavior is extremely unsettling.

The reason is that I am a living, breathing contrast to their deficiencies – not to mention comfortable with subjects most run screaming from. I’m proof that they aren’t the hottest shit around. More importantly, my shit is so hot, I accentuate how cold theirs is. The insane, immature, or unintelligent, tend to respond to that realization quite negatively. So, merely going about my business, not screwing with anyone in the slightest, I trigger unhealthy psychological patterns in people.

To this problem, add reckless romantic attraction and really good sex. [Remember, its not bragging if I’m stating a fact. I eat ass too. Super husband material here.] Anyway, given my perceived disparities between us, she might respond to me in an unhealthy way if we date. Nevertheless, I’m still trying to find a way to make, even a temporary relationship, work in a healthy way devoid of babying her.

I suppose I just need be patient, keep working with her while measuring her, and discourage her interests if she seems incapable of a healthy relationship. But I’m trying real fucking hard to find a way to make this work, really attempting to broaden my definition of “healthy” to give me more options. Ohhhh, I’m so fucking desperate.

The more-important character traits I’ve observed in her aside, bitch has a variety of rare physical traits which really turn me on. Why couldn’t I be immoral? I JUST WANNA CRUSH PUSS AND CUDDLE AND HAVE A HEALTHY MONOGAMOUS LIFELONG MARRIAGE WHILE EATING ASS.

This wouldn’t be hard in a society that was even mediocre. Fuck you, humanity.


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~ by Louis Naughtic on April 21, 2017.

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