Liars Steal Your Reality. [journal 6-5-17]

RZA – Fury In My Eyes.

Em. Metacog progresses. More consistently, I remain self-aware of more of my thought processes, and can force that awareness to reestablish when I’ve slacked. I’ve also smoked a total of two cigarettes in the past.. five days? Again, I comment on that not because I care about quitting in and of itself. Most importantly, I’ve started “consciously interfacing” with the most heavily repressed thought processes.

As stated in earlier journals, these processes facilitated earlier mental instability. But they were not the causes, merely the vehicles. An important distinction, given those vehicles are fundamental processes in metacog, which I must use. Now that I’m starting to gain control of them, I think I’m nearing my goal of ending depression, and returning to my predepression mental state. Ya, I know; as always, I think I’m right this time too.

On a different note, as this journal becomes more extensive, I see more and more reiteration. I want to link the related posts together, referencing the new to the old, making my points more cohesive overall, making dedicated posts for important subjects I’ve addressed in journal entries, and generally streamlining the blog. But frankly, it doesn’t seem worth it for the time.

I figure most people can’t understand my work no matter how concisely stated, and those whom can understand don’t need their hands held. Accordingly, my apologizes to those of you with more than half a brain, for forcing inefficiency on you. If its any consolation, I’ve got over half my life left, and no greater passion than my melancholic hatred for humanity’s self-destructive behavior. Which is an interesting subject to ramble about.

As suggested in much earlier journals, my ranting about humanity is likely to be an overarching purpose in my life. That is to say, I have a compulsion to fix humanity, and expect to spend some time trying. That will likely only entail raving on this blog for the rest of my life – despite it’s initial purpose being otherwise. Maybe I’ll create a collection of historically impactful essays, or maybe I’ll just waste my life.

In any case, I hate humanity’s self destructive behavior, born of its collective weakness of character and intellect. Remember that some of us can control and properly utilize our emotions, and thus hatred does not necessitate irrationality. So yes, I vehemently hate a great deal of humanity, and would casually subjugate it, for the good of blameless, moral, and unborn people. Doesn’t mean I’m sitting around plotting, like a megalomaniac.

No, I want to actually improve the world in the longrun, rather than merely convince myself I have, or convince myself of my potency, through childish dramatics and violence. Further, I don’t want to change the world as a means of rising a monument to myself. I just can’t leave it alone, like something stuck in your teeth. I don’t mean to cross metaphors, but humanity’s potential is too beautiful to let the idiots eat it.

Journal Hub


~ by Louis Naughtic on June 5, 2017.

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