Please don’t do this to me. [Journal 6-13-18]

Danny Elfman – The Little Things.

Alright, another long adventure that deadens a piece of me. As mentioned on the forthcoming Dying Light vlog/playthrough: I’m about to get a job. During the interview process, many promises were made; the primary ofwhich was a suspiciously large pay-rate, and likely standard benefits.

While I haven’t seen confirmation of these promises, there’s an air of possible competence and decency about the manager, and the company is national. They also do drug and background tests, so that’s one massive problem taken care of. If I’m not being played a fool for the hundredth time, this job may be ideal for me.

The downsides are somewhat hefty. I’m not acquiring any real skills [basically just a cleaner]. I won’t have two days off in a row – “at first.” I’m about half-an-hour away by car, so that’s an hour out of my day just driving. I’m expecting an alarming amount of overtime. Essentially, my freetime is dead and gone.

Until my metacog is “complete,” I doubt I’ll try writing anyway. So, might as well be active, which can help metacog if I’m not being pushed too hard. The work is only moderately physical, mixed with driving, so I should get fitter without overtaxing my mind and body. And if the pay is genuinely as good as promised, it would afford me alot of options.

As for not acquiring new skills.. well. Fuck it, honestly. I’ve stopped fixating on “advancing,” given that all the keys are held by people. This job offers me the ability to make cash without that self-abasing step – and general autonomy, as I’ll be working alone. As for the added drive-time: I can always move. As for the days off: I may be able to work a deal where I always work the day that others want off.

I’ll be making 18.50 while being trained, then switched to commission afterwards, with a base rate of 15.50. I’ve been repeatedly assured that 20 is easy to accomplish, 30+ is likely during peak seasons, and 40 is possible. Whether or not that calculates-in overtime, I don’t know – I assume it does. In any case, with promises of overtime, you can see the potential.

While I don’t have any real use for money, beyond paying my college debt, I could always do the usual. A good car [though in my case, it would likely be a bitching “vanual”], a house, stocks, whathaveyou. Of course, there’s the option of the dreamed-of farm. Or, I could simply save as much as possible, then take another absurdly long vacation.

All that aside.. metacog progresses severely. I’ve almost mastered it! All my problems will be solved tomorrow! I’m fucking superman! Course, I been thinking that for 17 years now. Maybe I am a megalomaniac. Stay tuned to find out.

I’m still vlogging extensively [excessively]; therein can be found pretty much everything I’ve left out in this and recent journals. Said vlogs will retain a minimum post-delay of a month.

I may come back to journaling regularly, as I usually just end up rambling during the vlogs. In any case, I have no viewers, so I’m not worried.


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~ by Louis Naughtic on June 14, 2018.

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